Aunt Tika, Queen of the Kitchen

There's an old joke about a guy who dies and visits his friend on Earth: "Hey, good news!" he says. "They have baseball in heaven! The bad news is you're pitching for our team tomorrow ."

Does anyone else think Aunt Tika is cooking for the angels right now?

My Aunt Tika passed on Monday morning, and before you feel sad for my family you have to realize that this is a wonderful occasion. A woman who has spent her entire life devoted to her church and her family has accomplished a goal of Christianity. She lived a life of preparation for her union with our Lord Jesus Christ, as well as her reunion with her husband, Maher, who passed on a few years ago.

I could spend time writing about Tunt Tika's devotion to the church. I could write about her service to her family, like when she would shuttle back and forth between Egypt and California to take care of both her husband and her children (and grandchildren). I could tell you about her love for the kitchen. Here's one story: over the last few years, in the middle of each week, she would make enough food for my dad to last through the weekend, and she did it because my dad loved the cuisine that he grew up on in Cairo. I would get home from work and our fridge would have party-size containers full of fried cauliflower, beef stew, peas, carrots, and my dad's favorite, liver. Understand that she also cooked for herself and three of her kids scattered throughout the Bay Area. She has always been like that. When we visited her in Egypt, she would spend all morning making FEASTS for us, and then start cooking again after lunch. Amazing food. No one topped her in terms of quality AND quantity.

But I'm not a writer so I made a video instead in her memory. I hope you enjoy it.



Pray for us, Tunt Tika!

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Annual Easter tradition (we celebrate this Sunday):

3:56:57 PM Andrew: bro
3:57:03 PM Andrew: what are wrapping in bacon this year
3:57:16 PM Andrew: turkey and havarti was good
3:57:19 PM Nader: Evie

Opening Day

Much has been written about the joy and optimism that comes with Major League Baseball's Opening Day every season, so I'll just say that going to, listening to, watching, hearing about, thinking about, playing in, remembering, or reading about any baseball game still makes me feel like a kid.

Blake and I drove to Houston for the Astros opener against the Cubs (this is the only time I'll ever write about skipping work because it seems like Opening Day is the only socially acceptable reason to play hooky). It was fun.

As for the rest of the season: LET'S go OAK-land! (bum bum bumbumbum)

Like Father Like Daughter

Q & A with the Brain behind the World's Greatest Invention

Okay, it's me. I'm the brain behind the world's greatest invention. Don't get me wrong: the car, the telephone, the Slap Chop...all great. But nothing will change the way you live your life like what I'm about to present to you: Nupperware.

Q: What is Nupperware?
A: Nupperware is a decorative plastic food container designed to reduce waste at social gatherings. "Nupperware" is a portmanteau of "nuptials" and the name of a certain brand of container.

Q: How does it work?
A: Simple. The host of a social gathering--let's take a wedding for example--provides nupperware for each guest. Let's say you can't finish your vegetables: put them in your nupperware. The guy next to you doesn't show up: put his salad in the nupperware. A whole block of cheese left on the hors d'ouevres table: nupperware. Now, the food doesn't get thrown in the garbage, and each guest is reminded of the generosity of the host the next day for lunch.

Q: Won't that take away from the elegance of the event?
A: Oh, I am unaware it is considered elegant to waste food, especially in trying economic times like these! You should be ashamed of yourself. You know what's truly elegant? Efficiency and resourcefulness.

Q: Sorry, I wasn't trying to say that--
A: No, I know exactly what you were trying to say! You Americans and your wastefulness.

Q: Aren't you American?
A: Yes. It's the greatest country on earth. And if you are really worried about elegance, nupperwares come with decorative ribbon and a satin finish.

Q: Moving on...where did this idea come from?
A: Pretty much every wedding I've ever been to. I have seen way too many half-eaten chicken cordon bleus taken back to the kitchen to know that probably half the food prepared for a wedding ends up in the dumpster. I went to retirement party last night, and there had to have been 40 meals worth of finger foods on the tabel when the party ended. Think about how much better my life would be if I was eating a lunch of bruschetta, mushroom turnovers, and brie.

Q: Might this idea of taking home food make the guests fight over the best stuff?
A: Glad you asked. This is where one of the best new wedding traditions comes in. Much like the bouquet toss by the bride and the garter toss by the groom, the nupperware toss will now be conducted by the caterer. He'll take the best leftovers--the bacon-wrapped lobster bites, the bacon-wrapped shrimp, the bacon-wrapped mushrooms...basically anything wrapped in bacon--and put them in the gold nupperware box. Then he'll throw it at a throng of the hungriest guests.

Q: Weddings are already expensive. Now the father of the bride has to pay for nupperware for each guest?
A: Good point. Nupperware containers cost about the same as wedding favors, and they are a lot more useful. So if you are planning on giving each of your guests a letter opener with your names on it, or a statuette of a baby with wings, or a bag of the hardest almonds in the world, maybe think about replacing that with a beautiful piece of nupperware. They'll remember you each time they have to take a casserole somewhere.

Q: Last question: What is the greatest feature of nupperware?
A: Nupperware shows your guests that you don't just care about them today; you care about your guests as long as it takes them to finish half a steak, 4 baby carrots, one and a half dinner rolls, and two extra pieces of wedding cake.

Sara Bareilles is cool

The One That Tries to Be Critical Without Sounding Like a Whiner By Hiding Behind Humor

(made especially for grad students)

Let's talk about soup (I know what you're thinking: way too exciting for a Tuesday! If that's the case, just think about hot water with salt. Okay, now back to soup). If you are like most people (read: not Spanish), you like to eat/drink your soup at a reasonable temperature. Soup often starts out too hot, then is enjoyable for a few spoonfuls, then is cooler than you want it to be. Believe it or not, soup is just like every personal-information internet meme every created.

Imagine it's 2002 and your friend sends you an "electronic piece of mail", which our culture, in its colloquial wisdom, has shortened to "e-mail", if you are familiar with that slang. So you go to your "webmail" on your "e-computer" and find that your friend has sent you a quiz. Oh and in your good fortune, they have filled it out with their answers:

2) What's on your mousepad?
my mouse hehe

4) What is your favorite place in the world?
hawaiiii its so beautiful there i wish i could live there

7) Bran muffin or Fiber One bar?
OMG bran muffin cuz fiber bars dont existt yet

10) Been to the doctor in the last 30 days?
LOL yeah i have some sort of contagious rash on my fingertips

11) Where are you now?
using dan's computer

These are sometimes annoying when they are first sent (because you think: "why do I want this"), but when a good number of people get involved, you might look forward to it. Then a couple of days later you get sick of them.

Now I want to say something quickly here: I have done many self-indulgent things in my life. I have sent quizzes, I talk about my self a lot, and I made a movie starring me as "me". So what I can hope for is that if you send a quiz or 25 random things or whatever, make it useful.

And now we have the Facebook Yearbook picture tagfest using Mr. Mann characters:

The way it works is you put this picture on Facebook and label your friends as "The One that's Always Hungry" or "The Loud One" or "The One that Got Arrested For Murder" (I'm two of three, and I want you to guess).

To each his own. If people enjoy it, that's fine. Unfortunately, I can't delete updates and comments on Facebook fast enough, so I have made a new one for everyone to upload:
Or maybe you could semi-personalize it, like this one I made for grad school, with help from William Cannon Winslow (click for higher resolution):


Someone upload that and tag it. And if the nicest person in your department isn't named Adria then too bad.

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