Extreme Normalcy, Brah!
Hey, what's the best way to make people think you're interesting? Maybe do interesting things? Have something interesting to say? Use the word "interesting" when describing yourself? What if you use "interesting" in five straight questions?
No, I have a better idea: tell everyone how extreme your everyday situations are. Next time you get less than 8 hours of sleep, let me know about it; it's so interesting, right? Or when you sit in traffic on the way to my house, tell me how crazy traffic was. Was it the craziest traffic ever!? Really!? Exciting! Extreme Sitting in Traffic! SITLMAO!
Hey remember in college when you studied soooo much for that test? You couldn't even take a break to eat lunch! Because you were studying so much! Make sure to tell that story next time we get together so that we will all be aware of how unique you are. I never studied, not even for a second! And I totally baced that test (it's like acing a test but getting a B)! Look at the both of us: we both totally beat the system in our own unique way.
But wait. What if, say, you eat so much--but you're so skinny!--that you were about to burst at the seams, like that dude in the old Kirby GameBoy commercial? What if it's just not enough to tell me that you "ate a lot of food"?
Use the phrase "you don't understand." As in, "No, you don't understand, I eat so much, it's ridiculous. You Don't Understand, Andrew."
You're right. I don't understand--I cannot comprehend the idea of eating a lot, as I am not like you, but rather a casing of organic material wrapped around a hyperalloy endoskeleton, sent from the future to protect a rebellious child and his mother. I have so many questions. Why do you cry?
(On a side note, I'm noticing that it's only small guys, really small girls, and big guys who talk about how much they eat. I've never met a girl on the thicker side who boasts about her eating abilities. Except me.)
My friend Taryn tells me about her friend who exaggerates everything so negatively that she doesn't value any of his complaints anymore. It's like the boy who cried wolf, but in this case the wolf is how you much you just paid for gas and no one really cares.
But seriously, I just paid like 60 bucks for gas. No, seriously. Forget it, you don't understand.
No, I have a better idea: tell everyone how extreme your everyday situations are. Next time you get less than 8 hours of sleep, let me know about it; it's so interesting, right? Or when you sit in traffic on the way to my house, tell me how crazy traffic was. Was it the craziest traffic ever!? Really!? Exciting! Extreme Sitting in Traffic! SITLMAO!
Hey remember in college when you studied soooo much for that test? You couldn't even take a break to eat lunch! Because you were studying so much! Make sure to tell that story next time we get together so that we will all be aware of how unique you are. I never studied, not even for a second! And I totally baced that test (it's like acing a test but getting a B)! Look at the both of us: we both totally beat the system in our own unique way.
But wait. What if, say, you eat so much--but you're so skinny!--that you were about to burst at the seams, like that dude in the old Kirby GameBoy commercial? What if it's just not enough to tell me that you "ate a lot of food"?
Use the phrase "you don't understand." As in, "No, you don't understand, I eat so much, it's ridiculous. You Don't Understand, Andrew."
You're right. I don't understand--I cannot comprehend the idea of eating a lot, as I am not like you, but rather a casing of organic material wrapped around a hyperalloy endoskeleton, sent from the future to protect a rebellious child and his mother. I have so many questions. Why do you cry?
(On a side note, I'm noticing that it's only small guys, really small girls, and big guys who talk about how much they eat. I've never met a girl on the thicker side who boasts about her eating abilities. Except me.)
My friend Taryn tells me about her friend who exaggerates everything so negatively that she doesn't value any of his complaints anymore. It's like the boy who cried wolf, but in this case the wolf is how you much you just paid for gas and no one really cares.
But seriously, I just paid like 60 bucks for gas. No, seriously. Forget it, you don't understand.
Labels: communication
posted by Andrew at
5:23 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home