Share Your Bread, Child

Hey kid, stop taunting the ducks.

Heather and I went for a walk around the lake today (or is it a river?...okay, it's now called Lady Bird Lake. I guess she earned it but I'm still calling it "the lake"). We saw lots of birds and it turns out waterfowl have all sorts of ridiculous names, like coot, scoter, wigeon, and muscovy.

Let me tell you something about muscovies that you will not find in any encyclopedia: they are ugly. That's not my opinion, that's scientific fact. Want to know how ugly? Hey, check it out for yourself.

I apologize if you barfed on your keyboard. The fact that it looks like its brains are on the outside is not some deformity specific to that single duck in the picture; it's what makes muscovies distinct, according to bird guides. Hey you know what else makes them distinct? Not getting dates to the bird prom. Yes, they have bird proms here. Keep Austin Weird.