This Sandwich Tastes Like Beer

Don't drink Old Rasputin unless you've ever wanted to know what bread and alcohol in a blender would taste like.



(This is my first attempt at a photo blog from my phone. Whoopee!)

The Family Cookoff was...Delicious

Dude that was some good food. My dad's sister Tika brought out decades of pure Egyptian kitchen awareness and took the grand prize of 200 bucks. She deserves it: this is the lady who would start cooking dinner for us in Egypt while we took the plates off the table from lunch. Not joking.

My cousin Teresa won the Filo category with a corn-and-feta-pocket thing, my dad's cousin's wife Suzy took top prize in the Koshary category, and my dad's cousin's cousin's wife Marlene (Titi) won desser with her yummy flan (Tika took the other two categories). My cousin's husband Ulises and his daughter Raquel made some amazing stuff--I thought his filo and dessert plates were the best non-Egyptian dishes. And Eddie, Mom, and Heather made some good stuff in some of the other categories. They show promise for next year!

http://familycookoff.blogspot.com

Our First Family Cookoff

It's tomorrow and I'm excited!

http://familycookoff.blogspot.com

Fast Food Restaurants Are Trying To Tell You to Eat More, and Hey, Why Not? I'm Getting Hungry Just Looking At That Sign (Part I - Burgers)

I'm not gonna claim to be an advertising master--although I do have a masters in advertising--but you can trust me when I say that companies are sending many more messages in your direction than you think they are. In fact, a lot of these messages are likely bypassing your conscious mind but still hitting something near the back of your skull (could be the front of your skull, since I'm not sure where the subconscious part is). Let's take a look at some fast food logos today.

You are going to notice a trend very early on. There are a few colors--one in particular--that has been shown to excite humans, which can stimulate the appetite. Obviously, fast food restaurants are in the loop on this one.

I've broken the restaurants into five categories: burgers, mexican/burritos, sandwiches, chicken, and other. I have decided to leave pizza out for now. I'll be tackling burgers today and I'll go down the list over the next week or so.

BURGERS

McDonald's

The classic double arches. Red background (get used to it) with yellow and white print. This is one of the most recognizable logos in the world, and it's likely that it will never change. I must say that I love continuity in logos and colors, and McDonald's has never really changed. It's so iconic that they don't need to. Good for them.

Burger King

BK went with the Pepsi approach on this one: when the top dog in your industry uses red (as Coke did), use blue to stand out BUT keep the red in there as well just to be safe. When this logo replaced the older 80's-ish one (which was more two-dimensional and brown), my first thought was: "That looks like the logo of a futuristic Burger King." So I guess in terms of updating their look, they did a pretty good job. Even though this is not unique, I like that the logo is in the shape of a burger, you know, just in case a hungry illiterate driver is trying to figure out what they serve.

Carl's Jr./Hardees

In case you are wondering, Hardee's is the East-of-the-Mississippi counterpart of Carl's Jr. Apparently, people on the East Coast like to tilt their heads or something, because the Hardee's logo is just a little off kilter. Again, they went with the red and yellow here, no surprise. This logo is too boring though, right? I'm being sarcastic by the way; simplicity can be a VERY good thing in logo design, especially if it's well-defined or well-known . Wait...what's this? CKE Restaurants disagrees with me?Apparently so. This new script lettering, which I must admit gives the logo a classic feel, is the standard CJ's logo now. Oh, and congratulations to the star, who has been promoted to TiltMaster General like his friend from the east.

Wendy's

"Old-fashioned hamburgers", huh...didn't know they had square patties back in the 19th century. Another burger chain, another red and yellow logo. This one is different because it actually features a red-headed girl (whose hair color is stimulating my appetite as we speak/read) and it is kind of an old school man-cowboy-saloon font. If Billy the Kid wanted lunch and was in a food court, he would probably go to Wendy's. I could do the research on how long this particular design has been around...maybe I'll do that in another post. RIP Dave Thomas. Thank you for your value menu.

Jack in the Box

WOW! No yellow! Congratulations to Jack in the Box on having a slightly different color scheme than the rest of the fast food crowd. Too bad they still went with red. I'm not sure how much the Jack logo is worth now compared to the "Jack" character himself. I almost feel that I see his face on a huge window sign before I see the logo. They could effectively replace all their 20-foot-high logo boards with a lifesize Jack doll, and I'm sure that business wouldn't drop off.

Arby's

I know what you are thinking: Arby's is not a burger chain. Well, it's ground beef in your stomach anyway. This logo DOES make me think of cowboys, both because of the hat and the font type. If that's what they were going for, it worked. They need to work on making their food taste better though. My friend Jackie's dad has a cute story about Arby's. I hope to share it with you some day.

Oh, and one point for color creativity--the red is a little darker than in all the other logos.

Sonic

You've got to be kidding me. Red and yellow. Whoop-de-doo. Sonic, you are AMERICA'S Drive-In, not Spain's. Yo quisiera un slushee de fresas. On the plus side, I'm pretty sure that design is meant to mimic the wings of cars from the 5o's, which is a nice touch for a drive-in.

Fatburger

Whenever I see a Fatburger logo, I think of "Good Burger" with Kenan and Kel. I saw that movie with Ron and Jerry Yassa, and needless to say, it was horrible. As for the logo, this is kinda the type that could be used for anything. Think about it: if they replaced "FATBURGER" with "RAMADA INN", you have a pretty servicable logo. That said, could we lay off the red and yellow please? Just for a while?

In-n-Out

Oh In-n-Out...how I love thee. But you had to go with the Red and Yellow. I guess I should just come to the realization that those are effective colors for letting hungry people know that you are a fast food restaurant, and piggy-backing on McDonald's is not a bad strategy. I like that the In-n-Out logo usually points to the restaurant itself--a trait that is not extremely handy on street-front signs, but is pretty awesome on super high billboards in areas where you might not notice the In-n-Out restaurant by itself while driving by.

Whataburger

Whataburger! I love you for your breakfast taquitos, and now I love you for the fact that you do not use red or yellow in your logo. However, if I remember my primary and secondary colors correctly from kindergarten: Red+Yellow=Orange. Great. No but seriously, it's okay here. Maybe it's because I grew up in California and only lived in Texas for a year and a half, but Whataburger signs always stood out to me on the road. That logo is kind of its own thing, which is neat. The winged-W is like inverted double golden arches in the sense that they probably drop the "Whataburger" on a lot of the signage and it still works.

Wienerschnitzel

Right, right: not a burger chain. Sorry, but if it's D-grade meat between two buns, it's in the burger category here. Now normally I would say something like "another fast food joint using Red And Yellow? That's ridiculous!" But Wienerschnitzel shows commitment here and actually paints their employees' houses the same colors:

Pretty incredible.

Krystal

Pretty bland. Krystal just doesn't sound like a place that would make delicious sliders. My brother and his fiance actually thought I was making up a restaurant when I used Krystal during a game of Scattergories. I don't live in the South, and when I saw Krystal signs in Tennessee, I had no clue that they served food. Red And Yellow, though--guess I should have known.

White Castle

White Castle is the only restaurant in this list that I have never eaten at. They did not use red or a color close to it, and I have to say that I am getting pretty hungry just looking at the logo. The 3-D castle and the writing in the middle actually look like a small little burger. Maybe that's the way to go--just make your logo subtly look like a burger.

So in summary:

9 out of 13 places use red and yellow in their logo.

11 out of 13 use red in their logo.

12 out of 13 use mainly warm colors (yellow, red, orange).

FAVORITE (regardless of "Iconicity" or color): Whataburger - It's not going to be confused for any other burger place, and they do have the word "burger" in the logo, in case you are driving across the country through Texas/Oklahoma and have never heard of the place.

LEAST FAVORITE: Krystal - Might as well be a gas station for all I know.

So...the color red. Maybe it's because it catches our attention. Maybe it is because red stimulates our appetites. Or maybe every restaurant decided to go what was already working for the big dogs. That's okay. But my feeling is that if your food is really good, it doesn't matter too much what your logo looks like, as long as it's identifiable by your customers.

Of course, if you are Arby's, I think you definitely need the cowboy hat in there.

Artisan Crafted Air

Heather's mom is in town this weekend, and to celebrate, my parents took us out ot Alexander's Steakhouse. Alexander's is one of the most upscale restaurants I've ever been to; they had a few really expensive steaks ($250), and they had caviar for five hundred bucks. HUH? That's the price of a scooter!

Needless to say, we stuck with the food in the double-digit range. The steaks were really good, and everything else was fantastic and intriguing, honestly. They gave us cotton candy for dessert.

Alexander's gets 4 points on the Pretentio-meter for the following infractions:

1) TABLESIDE PREP - Mom ordered roasted red pepper soup, which came with shrimp. The server poured the soup on the shrimp at the table. This ain't Benihana's, people. If you are gonna show me how you make the food, at least make it interesting. Put it in an onion volcano or flip it into your hat.

2) UNCUT SALAD - This wasn't even a wedge salad, but rather stalks of romaine (maybe?) laid parallel with all the Caesar accoutrements on top. I guess I'm okay with the wedge salad because of the presentation points it earns. This just seemed lazy though.

3) STUPID NOMENCLATURE - "Brown Butter Frozen Air" was an ingredient in one of the desserts. Apparently it's froth. They could have said "Froth" but they said "Frozen Air." "Froth." They could have just said "froth." They didn't.

4) ARTISTRY - There was also "artisan cheese" on the dessert menu. Unless Michaelangelo himself carved the cheese into the shape of a Roman soldier, please don't call it artisan. It's cheese--it came out of a cow's udder and it curdled and now I'm putting it in my mouth and it's getting digested.

Despite these minor minor gripes, the food was great, and service was spectacular. Here's my recommendation: "I recommend it if you can expense it."



I need to start writing about something besides food.

Tasty Water

I think it's weird that water is one of the only things humans consume that we actually prefer with less taste. And that desire has totally escalated in the past 20 years.

When I was like 6 and I wanted water, I went to the fridge and used that water dispenser attached to the freezer. I had NO IDEA that the water coming out of that dispenser came from the same place as the water out of the faucet at the kitchen sink. And for some reason, I thought the water from the bathroom faucet was not for human consumption.

18 years later, I rarely drink tap water because my tongue is conditioned to drink the liquid out of the bottle, or at least out of one of those huge jugs. Sure, I'll drink out of a tap if there is nothing else, or if I'm at a water fountain at a park, or if I'm in the East Bay (the water there tastes so much better than anywhere else, honestly. Look it up.) Maybe you drink out of a Brita filter; I did when I was in Davis because the tap water there is...how do I put this...um...let's see...farty? Is that a word?

Anyway, I just bought a Brita filter for the house because we discontinued our water delivery, as it was way too expensive. But I do wonder if we are all conditioning ourselves to have weak stomachs because we don't deal with the "tastiness" that comes out of the tap. What with flouride and lead and all that.

By the way, the title of this post refers to a time when I was 12 and Mom told me I couldn't eat anything until dinner (it was like 3:30; I was getting to be quite overweight). I asked her what I could eat, and she said: "You can have water." My brother thought this was hilarious and kept saying "TASTY WATER!" for the rest of the afternoon.

This is the second drink-related post in 10 minutes. I'm going to go use that Brita filter.

Unless You Take Yours With Milk

I don't get why orange juice has to be refrigerated. I mean, I understand why you would WANT to keep it cold, because it's way more delicious that way. But I want to know why you can't keep it outside of the fridge with the cap on tight for like 2 days, and then put it in the fridge and drink it after that.

Actually, I'm basing this whole post on the assumption that the "KEEP REFRIGERATED" warning on the side of the carton is an order, as opposed to a suggestion. If a reader who is in the citrus growing industry could help me out with this, that would be great. Julius, I'm looking at you...

(I don't actually know a Julius, but I figure that if I knew someone who worked with oranges, I'd want to call him Julius.)

It's Supposed to be a Low Heat

Bert's BBQ in Austin burned down last week, and there's a pretty interesting story concerning how the dispatcher handled the initial 911 call. Apparently, the dispatcher thought the caller was seeing the white smoke of a large amount of meat being cooked at a very low temperature (what I call "God's Beard"):

Dispatch says, "OK, does it smell like the wood? Or does it smell like something else is on fire?"
Caller says, "No, it smells like wood. There's a lot of it. I was just going across the street, and I could smell it. There's, like, all this, you know, bit of a hazy smoke around here."
Dispatch says, "Well, could they be smoking their briskets?"
Caller says, "No, that's not brisket."

"You could tell something was burning," Perez said. "It's not brisket. It's not sausage that is burning."

At the end of Joel's call, the dispatcher finally sends out firefighters to Bert's Bar-B-Q, some 45 minutes after the first call. And that's huge, considering it would have taken firefighters 45 seconds to get there. After all, the fire station is right down the street.

And the end right there is the most ridiculous part. I lived three blocks away from Bert's for a while, and I walked down to MLK Boulevard a couple times a week to get food. The walk from the fire station to Bert's is less than a minute, or close to it; couldn't someone have gone over and looked?

Anyway, it sucks for them, because the restaurant is pretty much charred inside. I went there once, and the manager was really nice...although as I took my food home, I saw one of the workers looking through the dumpster outside for some reason...ew. As for the 'cue itself, I ate the food there in 2005, and I remember the meaty beef rib and the sausage being pretty tasty, while everything else was standard pretty standard for Texas BBQ. I'd say it probably ranks somewhere in the 11-15 range in Austin--nothing memorable, but still pretty good.

I think I'm gonna use the smoker this weekend and make some beef.

I Just Ate One Too Many Rainbows

I still eat Lucky Charms--I'm sure most of you still eat sugary cereal, too--and frankly I DO think they're magically delicious. But let me tell you what you shouldn't do:

Don't save all the marshmallows for the end. Don't do it. If you want to know what it's like, pour yourself a shot of milk and add two tablespoons of sugar to it. Seems fantastic in theory, right?